Thursday, December 06, 2012

Small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship

I have read this story on the web. It touched my heart, so I felt its worth sharing to my friends and this is for you.

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥

Thursday, November 15, 2012

మాటలాడే పెదవులు కన్నా
సాయం చేసే చేతులు మిన్న
ప్రేమను చెప్పే పదాలు కన్నా
ప్రేమను పంచే హృదయం మిన్న

--   ఆనంద్ 

Monday, October 29, 2012

Pranav – The Head Constable

               That was the Prohibition & Excise police station in Gajuwaka area. Inspector Raghuram ordered their staff to gather in his office. “I got an information that our local MLA is involving in making Sara (Sara is a local made alcohol which making is illegal). It has to be enquired and evidence needs to be gathered. Who will handle this case?” Raghuram asked. Entire staff was looking at each other. There was tension in their faces as they have to run after the local politician. And they were thinking that if the given information was right, they would have to file a case against the politician which may put their life in risk. Raghuram observed their tension and told a constable to call Pranav as Pranav was in leave. After some time, Pranav reported to Raghuram. Before he speaks, he observed the silence in the room and tension in their colleagues’ faces, and then asked Raghuram why he was called. Raghuram told him about the information and asked whether Pranav was willing to take this case. Without second thought, Pranav said yes to handle the case. With that answer, the remaining staff was shocked.

                Pranav was a head constable, got transferred to Gajuwaka excise police station 1year back. He is very sincere, dedicated and honest person. He had 15 years of experience in the department, solved many cases and got good appreciations, awards from higher officers. 

                He started investigation with the information Raghuram provided. First of all, Pranav enquired all his local contacts regarding the politician, his contacts and businesses. There was no much useful information with that enquiry. He also enquired the local youth and people who arrested previously in the Sara making cases. He got confirmation that the information was correct; the MLA has a hand in the Sara making & supplying. He has to find and gather the evidence where they were storing the stock, to face the politician. Pranav thought, generally MLA will assign these illegal tasks to those whom he believed most. So Pranav gathered a list of names that MLA believes most. He got a list of 10 names.

                Pranav knew that enquiring those 10 people as a police officer is very difficult and dangerous.  He got a plan and wanted to implement it. For that, he shaved his head. He called his wife and without explaining much about the case, he said “we have to go to the area and act like searching for rented home”. She didn’t object to go with him as she knew him very well. The couple entered the area. They were going to every home in their list. She was enquiring about rented home nearby while Pranav was observing the home and their surroundings.  They almost visited all the homes in their list and reached the end of the colony. Pranav observed a rice storage factory at the end of the colony. While he enquired about the factory, he came to know that it was the MLA’s factory. He surmised on it and wanted go inside. But how? He was thinking about it and observing the surroundings. He saw some palmyra toddy labors working on palmyra trees back to the factory.  Immediately he got an idea. That day night, he met a palmyra toddy labor, asked him to observe what was happening in the factory all the time. That labor climbed the tallest tree and observed the things were going on in the factory for the whole day.

                The next day the labor met Pranav and explained what he saw and told, some cans were taken out from office room and loaded to lorries along with the rice packets in the evening time. Pranav was very happy with that information as he got the evidence which can be proved. And he gave some amount to the labor and warned him not to tell anyone about this. Pranav met the inspector Raghuram and explained everything he collected till now about the case. Raghuram was very happy and appreciated Pranav for his effort. 

Raghuram gave orders to ride on the factory. A team along with Raghuram and Pranav went to the factory when the MLA was not in the city. The team was spread across the factory and searching for Sara. Raghuram and Pranav went into office room; they saw nothing in the room. Employees in the factory told Raghuram that there was nothing. Pranav stepped on a thin door mat next to him. He felt like something under it. He removed the door mat and saw a type of door. He opened it. There was storage under the ground. Raghuram along with his team went inside and found lots of cans with Sara. They seized everything, put them on their vehicles and arrested the staff working there and registered a case against them.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Really a heart touching story

Read the below link, really a heart touching story.
I couldn't stop tears in my eyes, may be you too.

Friday, February 03, 2012

I have listened E-TV Jummandhi Nadam episodes in Youtube. Interview with Bala murali Krishna, is one of them. I like a poem which he told in the interview.

అన్నమునకు ఆంధ్రము,
ఆదరణకు అరవము,
కన్నడకు కనడమూ,
మరులు కొలుపు మళయాళము!
మనమంతా ఒకటైతే,
బ్రతుకంతా, ప్రశాంతము.